Here in New York City, couples are treated to an array of relationship therapists in NYC. From holistic and uncertified Craigslist individuals to realistic trained and experienced counselors, what it all really comes down to is what’s the difference between a good relationship therapist and a great one.
Negative Compared to Neutral or Positive Interactions
Couples counseling is a time for each party to air their grievances, but how they do so should be structured and controlled. Good relationship therapists may allow for negative interactions to occur between you and your partner. This may include:
- ?You shouldn’t have…?
- ?Why did you…?
- ?It was you who…?
Each of these comments is a criticism and is in no way productive. A great therapist, on the other hand, will stop the conversation immediately when it becomes accusatory. Great therapists will coach you on framing that same statement in a way that tells your partner what upset you, while encouraging them to respond openly. This won’t only help you improve your own communication skills, but it will help you and your partner stay on a positive and productive track.
Taking Sides or a Neutral Position
Relationship therapists aren’t there to look to one side of the couch and tell a party they’re right or wrong. A helpful therapist is not there to play judge and jury, but rather to counsel the couple to arriving at a win-win resolution on essentially any issue that they may currently be arguing over, or disagree over in the future.
Looking Back or Looking Forward
History has a bearing in any relationship. However, great relationship therapists are forward thinking and will only use history as a means to gain an understanding of where you both may be coming from. A bad therapist will allow couples to harp on the ?what happened? and ?what could have been? in their relationship or shared lives. A great therapist will use history as insight and encourage each party to use the past as a learning tool ? not as a nagging tool.
Asking Questions or Providing Tools
The standard therapist response to almost any comment is, ?How do you feel about that?? Find yourself with a therapist that only asks questions and you may arrive at some great depths of self-realization. But, what you’re lacking from the session are the tools necessary to take your relationship with this other individual forward.
Great therapists are able to recognize areas that couples can work on both individually and as a unit. Relationship therapists aren’t here only to help you air your feelings. They’re also, perhaps, are primarily there to provide you with the steps or approaches you can use to enhance your communication skills and your relationship with a loved one after you have left their office. Visit Marriage Couples Counseling & Life Coaching for more information.
